Well, here we are... and chances are that, if you are reading this, you are an attorney for American Idol (with which this site is not affiliated), FOX (with which this site is not affiliated), and/or Fremantle Media (with which this site is not affiliated). If not, please return to the page from which you came before the following legal inanities bore you to tears.
Or, if you have a sincere desire to be bored to tears, tune in to American Idol (with which this site is not affiliated) on Tuesday and Wednesday nights at 8/7 Central. Click here for the genuine, real, honest-to-goodness, official American Idol website (with which this site is not affiliated) for details.
In case you didn't catch it earlier, this site IS NOT affiliated with American Idol, FOX or Fremantle Media. This site IS NOT authorized by American Idol, FOX or Fremantle Media. This site DOES NOT have anything to do with American Idol, FOX or Fremantle Media OTHER THAN creating a critical commentary and parody of the American Idol television program's website.
Before you send your form letter, which will probably look something like this:
Re: Infringement of Fremantle Media, Inc.'s Intellectual Property Rights This firm represents Fremantle Media,Inc. It has come to Fremantle's attention that you have registered and been using the domain name AMERICANIDOLSTINKS.COM. Your activities constitute trademark infringement and unfair competition under Federal and State law and may be in violation of the recently enacted Anticybersquatting statute and ICANN's Uniform Dispute Resolution Policy. FREMANTLE MEDIA.Inc will not tolerate attempts to trade off its excellent reputation. We hereby demand that you (1) immediately deactivate (remove name service from) all hosts in the AMERICANIDOLSTINKS.COM domain, and (2) agree to transfer the domain to Fremantle Media, Inc. Should you fail to do so, Fremantle Media, Inc. will take the additional measures it deems appropriate to protect its valuable trademark rights.You should consider the following:
- There is no way that you can hope to prove any intention on my part to create confusion in the marketplace. The domain name AmericanIdolSTINKS.com is obviously a criticism and/or parody of your trademark and is, therefore, protected under federal law. In addition, every page of the site includes as a prominent feature of its header banner the statement that AmericanIdolSTINKS.com is "an unauthorized critique" and "Not affiliated with FOX or American Idol."
- You have equally little chance to prove trademark dilution because there is no attempt on my part to "tarnish the image or blur the distintiveness of [your] mark." This is legitimate criticism and parody. I'm not marketing a TV show, producing concerts, or selling CDs and DVDs from said non-existent TV show and/or concerts.
- The domain name AmericanIdolSTINKS.com is not in violation of the Anti-Cybersquatting Consumer Protection Act because is is not "confusingly similar" to your trademark. No one looking for your program's website would reasonably add the distinctive, negative modifier "stinks" before the ".com" when entering your domain name.
- The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) Uniform Domain Name Dispute Resolution Policy (UDNDRP) will likely offer you no relief because, as the domain name owner of AmericanIdolSTINKS.com, I have a legitimate interest in the domain name. "If the domain name owner's site is being used to criticize, protest or parody the trademarked entity or its owner's products and/or services, the panel will probably find that the domain name owner has a legitimate interest in the domain name. This will probably be true, even if the domain name is, for all practical purposes, the same exact thing as the trademarked word."
- Parodies, such as AmericanIdolSTINKS.com, are protected by federal court precedent: "A parody must convey two simultaneous--and contradictory messages; that it is the original, but also that it is not the original and is instead a parody. To the extent that it does only the former but not the latter, it is not only a poor parody but also vulnerable under trademark law, since the consumer will be confused." From Cliffs Notes, Inc. v. Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, 886 F. 2d 490 (2d Cir. 1989)
- The Google AdSense advertising featured on the site has, as of the writing of this notice, generated no revenue so, for the purposes of trademark infringement claims, it is a non-profit endeavor. If necessary, I will remove the ads and make this a purely non-commercial venture rather than allow you to shut down the site. My only financial goal is to recover my costs for the development and hosting of the site.
- I work full-time as a journalist for a national radio network and online news syndicator that is a subscribing affiliate of the Associated Press. If you threaten any legal or administrative action against AmericanIdolSTINKS.com, you will, simply put, make me, and this site, famous. Within hours of the receipt of any notice of action or threat of action by you or your representatives, I can assure you there will be a national news story about AmericanIdolSTINKS.com and your threat or action, as well as opinion-editorial columns about it. Within days, you can count on my appearance on television network news and talk programs to defend against your attack, along with dozens, if not hundreds of hours of local and network talk radio appearances dedicated to me explaining that I can't understand why you are picking on me.
- Finally, I created AmericanIdolSTINKS.com for the purpose of Christian evangelism to tell the world that there is only one person who has ever lived who should be idolized, Jesus Christ. Do you really want to be famous for religious persecution? As described above, if that is your wish, I am more than willing and able to make it come true.